A close-up on the standard of beauty in Singapore

In the inimitable film Mean Girls, the titular character Cady Heron, played by Lindsay Lohan, said: “I used to think there was just fat and skinny. Apparently there’s a lot of things that can be wrong with your body.” Out of all the iconic one-liners that this chick flick birthed, this particular one stuck — for a good reason. Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) is a complex disorder characterised by extreme concern about one or two perceived flaws in your perceived appearance. It affects 1.7% to 2.9% of the general population, with the condition occurring in 1 in 50 people.

Many might dissuade or frown upon the word ‘disorder’, simply because the behaviour of disliking or feeling insecure about our bodies has long been normalised. We have recited the phrases of “no one is perfect” and “imperfectly perfect” enough to know that inferiority complexes are just part and parcel of life. And yes, as much as how the habitual self-loathing is natural like breathing, so should the celebratory aspect. While it’s always easier to put ourselves down than lift ourselves up, the latter is evidently more important, because it is quintessential to self-acceptance and self-love. Which precedes everything, including seeking the same assurance from our society, which might or might not happen in this lifetime.

This can only start within, to celebrate and love your body for what it is, what it was, and what it will be. Below, seven individuals of varying body types share what it is like to combat their inner voices and societal pressures in line with the “perfect conventional body”, as they make a case for feeling strong, healthy, and at home in their own skin. These are their stories, and these are their bodies.

Sara May

I am what people may call a mesomorph. We tend to have a medium frame and develop muscles easily. When I first came to Asia, I felt that my body was too muscular compared to other women, especially on my back and legs. But as a personal trainer, my physique in Asia is one of the things that is giving me opportunities. In my time living here, I’ve also started embracing my body the way it is and telling my clients that looking different can be an amazing feeling. You can develop muscles, even as a woman, and feel strong and confident.

Rosalina Oktavia

Due to a negligent doctor back in 2015 in Indonesia, I had my left leg amputated. It was really hard for me at that time, because the way it happened was by someone else’s mistake. People stared at me like a monster and judged me as incapable, simply because I was missing a leg. It took me about a year before I could love myself again, because that was how people could love me back. When I motivated myself, I motivated people at the same time. And now I do believe my body is beautiful in my own way and it still is an asset for the rest of my life.

Rosalina Oktavia

Andrew Marko

I’ve been morbidly obese since I was a kid, to the point that I hit 110kg when I was 8. I was made fun of throughout my entire school education and literally had no friends. But it was also the bullying that spurred me to impress my classmates so I started learning how to sing and play every instrument I could get my hands on while also mimicking the different accents and voices I heard on television. Granted, it was a dark childhood but I’m glad it happened because today, I get paid to make weird voices, dance, sing, and act on stage. However for the longest time, I did suffer from agoraphobia and didn’t want to be around people because of my weight. It was only when I enlisted into the Air Force that I started going to the gym. During this period, I picked up Muay Thai and found it to be a helpful outlet to cope with the innate trauma that was still present. Once I started seeing results, I was extremely chuffed — it was also that much easier for me to put on muscle because I already had so much stored fat. Much of the training I do now isn’t just for aesthetics but rather for functionality. I think that’s an important perspective to have because if you keep looking in the mirror trying to find any lean muscle definition, you’d lose your mind.

I’ve been morbidly obese since I was a kid, to the point that I hit 110kg when I was 8. I was made fun of throughout my entire school education and literally had no friends. But it was also the bullying that spurred me to impress my classmates so I started learning how to sing and play every instrument I could get my hands on while also mimicking the different accents and voices I heard on television. Granted, it was a dark childhood but I’m glad it happened because today, I get paid to make weird voices, dance, sing, and act on stage.

However for the longest time, I did suffer from agoraphobia and didn’t want to be around people because of my weight. It was only when I enlisted into the Air Force that I started going to the gym. During this period, I picked up Muay Thai and found it to be a helpful outlet to cope with the innate trauma that was still present. Once I started seeing results, I was extremely chuffed — it was also that much easier for me to put on muscle because I already had so much stored fat. Much of the training I do now isn’t just for aesthetics but rather for functionality. I think that’s an important perspective to have because if you keep looking in the mirror trying to find any lean muscle definition, you’d lose your mind.

Anna En

Growing up, I noticed my body jiggled more than others, which affected my interest in sports and dancing. Due to being self-conscious of too much ‘bouncing’ in my chest area, I realised I didn’t look as graceful while doing vigorous activities. I felt especially clumsy and bulky. When I was 12, my uncle pointed out in front of the whole family that my chest and butt were developing. My aunt would also touch my chest without consent out of her own ‘curiosity’. As a teenager, older women told me to cover up even though I was wearing the exact same outfit as a friend who didn’t have curves. I used to be slightly upset with people describing me as ‘The Anna with the boobs’, thinking that it’s slightly reductive to my personality and achievements. But now, I’ve learnt to own and familiarise myself with this silhouette that belongs to me, to understand the fabrics and fits of clothing that will flatter my body. And it’s okay for a cleavage line to peep into a selfie once in a while. Now, being secure of my uniqueness and quirks, I no longer restrict myself to a descriptive. I come as I am, because people are going to stare anyway.

Anna En

Fiona Bennett

My stature has always been pretty normal, I’m slightly curvy with thicker arms and legs. Before I had kids, I had a small waist, which I did consider to be one of my best assets. But with both of my pregnancies, I gained 30kg, which is a lot. Everything changed post-birth with an expanding waistline and weight gain and for a while, I spiralled into a deep dark hole of hating my growing body, instead of being grateful I could get pregnant in the first place. I would always wear loose baggy long dresses to hide my frame. As a makeup artist, I am surrounded by new mums that have bounced back after a few months and that’s great for them but that’s not my body. While I am still working hard to lose the weight by doing regular workouts with a personal trainer, I have come to love this new version of myself. Just because I’m up a dress size, I try not to beat myself up about my body because it has done some amazing things! Sure, I have a few more stretch marks and wrinkly skin around my abdomen, but it’s completely normal. The world would be a better place if we normalise post-pregnancy bodies that have gone through hell and back to have these little babies!

My stature has always been pretty normal, I’m slightly curvy with thicker arms and legs. Before I had kids, I had a small waist, which I did consider to be one of my best assets. But with both of my pregnancies, I gained 30kg, which is a lot. Everything changed post-birth with an expanding waistline and weight gain and for a while, I spiralled into a deep dark hole of hating my growing body, instead of being grateful I could get pregnant in the first place. I would always wear loose baggy long dresses to hide my frame.

As a makeup artist, I am surrounded by new mums that have bounced back after a few months and that’s great for them but that’s not my body. While I am still working hard to lose the weight by doing regular workouts with a personal trainer, I have come to love this new version of myself. Just because I’m up a dress size, I try not to beat myself up abut my body because it has done some amazing things! Sure, I have a few more stretch marks and wrinkly skin around my abdomen, but it’s completely normal. The world would be a better place if we normalise post-pregnancy bodies that have gone through hell and back to have these little babies!

Dione Tan

“You’re so skinny” comes as often as “Good morning”, like a greeting. Everything about me from head to toe is very small, not by choice, but because I was born this way. From my neck, to my chest, to my waist and hips, I grow vertically, almost never horizontally. I always had long hair because I used it to cover my collarbones. I got insecure wearing body hugging or revealing clothes because of the stares and whispers, but then these insecurities became a norm overtime. There’s always going to be something that I see as a flaw or something the public points out. A perfect example would be my itty bitty chest. A lot of people make fun of it, and yes, I might not have the “assets” of a woman, but I’ve learnt to accept and embrace this part of me. To stay positive, I like to think people envy my metabolism instead!

Dione Tan

Obi Stephanie

I’m definitely on the curvy and thick side, which did affect my self-esteem in ways I did not think it would. Buying things online is when it gets to me, because most of the items in the stores are small and medium, and hardly include bigger sizes that I can fit in. It was one of those things that does start to eat away at you day by day for sure. I feel you can never be enough or look good enough for society. Last year, when the pandemic hit, I started embracing myself more, by doing a daily mantra to remind myself who I am, how to accept, and love myself the way I am.