Your anti-basic guide to Chinese New Year dressing

Your anti-basic guide to Chinese New Year dressing

What not to wear

Text: Jolene Khor

How to win the award for Best Dressed Cousin this festive season, because life is a competition

Allow us to paint you a picture. You awake on the first day of the lunar calendar, ready to kill it. And by kill it, we mean put on your highly curated Chinese New Year duds that will knock everyone else's out of the park. You're so sure, you're willing to bet your first big angpao on it. Who's kidding around? #Ootdwars might not be a thing on social media, but it sure feels real to you. 

The thing is, your second cousin twice removed thinks the same. So does your older sister. Yeah, your sister-in-law is in on it too. So you all whip out the best hits from fall/winter 2017 and pre-spring 2018, thinking that you're one-upping the other, only ensuring your own four-way tie on "Who Wore It Better". Because dressing alike officially stopped being cute when the candles on your birthday cake can light up the entire room, here are the five trends to put on pause this festive season, unless well, that's what you're into.

No judgement.

We get it. You can get them on and off in the dark, with your hands behind your back, while you're performing aerobics. It's like they were made for house visiting. But save you want your slides to be swimming with 20 other pairs at the door, we suggest parking your fuzzies some metres away, lest they mimic a couple of used mops by the end of the weekend. Better yet, wear these mules instead.

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Replacing the statement-jewelled necklace as the basic jewellery of 2017, the choker has seen the light of day many times over. Time to give them — and your neck — a break while you stack up the resin bracelets and matching sunglasses. How better to show off your natural beauty?

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This one's a tough one. For a second, we thought they would phase out, but Jeremy Scott's new collection, combined with the public's love for pom poms (particularly those attached to straw bags) prove them everlasting. Alas, the majority has spoken — therein lies the problem. So send them to the dry cleaners for now. This Chinese New Year, you deserve to shine. Like a diamond. Like a disco.

Your anti-basic guide to Chinese New Year dressing (фото 3)

Like every other fashionista, we love a good cop out. Tipped to be the huat season's style escape hatch is the pineapple motif — precisely why it will gain traction among those lacking in imagination. Word on the street is that you're not such an individual. To walk your own way yet ride the festive wave, the batik print is a time-tested treasure. Should cute be more your genre, pastel polka dots is so 2018 it hurts.

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Why any woman would voluntarily implicate themselves when horrid aunties' unsolicited remarks about our bodies are brutal enough even without encouragement is beyond us. Shock the elder generation into silence with your devotion to the official colour of Chinese New Year. Instead of an open invitation to attack your midsection, call to attention your impeccable styling. Your trial of the modest fashion trend starts now.

Your anti-basic guide to Chinese New Year dressing (фото 5)

The complete Chinese New Year survival guide.