Cardi B in vintage Thierry Mugler Haute Couture
We know that Cardi's meant to be Venus/Aphrodite and not the seashell in this metaphor, but just like an oyster, she's recently opened up to love anew after some irritation (to put it mildly).
Post Malone in custom Catherine Hahn
We can't look at Post Malone's pink set without being reminded of the former star of 'The Simple Life'... Which is, incidentally, all we've ever wanted. Why are good men so hard to find? *sigh*
Anna Kendrick in Ralph & Russo Haute Couture and Katy Perry in Balmain Haute Couture
The exaggerated curves of Katy's frock call to mind (literal) Paleolithic sex icon the Venus of Willendorf. Is this an ancestral spin on "most men are just looking for their mothers" gone too far?
Kylie Jenner in Balmain Haute Couture
We're reminded of hotel-quality, high thread-count sheets. Sultry *and* comfy... Boutique love hotels are a totally thing, right?
Janelle Monae in Jean-Paul Gaultier Haute Couture
All we want is to be — as Lorelei from the movie adaptation of 'Gentlemen Prefer Blondes' sings — is wined and dined and ermined.
J. Lo in Ralph & Russo Haute Couture and Lady Gaga in Celine
One is a earthy cowboy and the other a bombastic spacefarer (at least in the first movie). One is a Bronx flygirl and the other a living artwork... A great reminder that opposites can be complementary and that platonic love is love, too.
Heidi Klum in Stephane Rolland Haute Couture
Sure, the dress is aptly bridal white (Klum is engaged), but it's also more than a little reminiscent of tears-and-heartbreak — or post self-love cleanup — Kleenex.
Ariana Grande in Zac Posen
Older princesses like Cinderella don't get much respect, but she has lots to teach us: just have fun without expecting happily ever after, be home by midnight, and keep your place clean in case you bring gentlemen callers home.
Tracee Ellis Ross in Ralph & Russo Haute Couture
Be bold, and promise the object of your attention that every experience after you will feel like Paradise Lost.
St. Vincent in Viktor & Rolf Haute Couture
Annie Clark's bedskirt-esque frills insensitively hammer home the coupled-up domesticity that *eyes welling up with tears* we'll never attain. That outfit should come with a trigger warning.
Dua Lipa in Atelier Versace
The only kind of Kisses some of us will receive on Valentine's Day. We're not complaining.
Chloe (R) and Halle (L) in Isabel Sanchis
You've seen those sad paper lanterns that millennial singles in denial brighten their bachelor(ette) pads up with, which are essentially the only lights cutting through the dark abyss of singledom.