5 overhyped trends this fashion editor can't wait to see gone in 2018
Make it stop
Do yourself a favour. Go to your closet right now. If you're not home, close your eyes and paint a mental picture of it. Are you there? Do you have it? Good. Now take a good long look. Start small with bags and accessories, move on to shoes, then envision your entire ready-to-wear section, from your greatest hits to the least loved forgettables. Feeling a little warm? An undercurrent of a pulsating headache maybe? Is that familiar wave of post-apocalyptic retail guilt washing in?
Consider this shopaholic, woken.
As I moved out of my old and into my new room with twice the storage space over the holidays, it dawned on me that my wardrobe could be split into two polarising categories. It is an amalgamation of things I love that become part of a steady rotation, and things I bought on a whim which hardly ever saw the light of day because, trend. Sure, they're not always mutually exclusive; I'm concerned about the soles of my Gucci patent slides and how often I'm stretching my Miu Miu headband with Swarovski crystals. But it pains me to admit the majority of my wardrobe is curated from my frantic jumping on the hype train since my wallet allowed this mindless indulgence.
See, I not only needed a bomber jacket, but I needed the perfect one in forest green with a quilted lining that would stay upright when shrugged off the shoulder and zipped up halfway. Because, trend. Also, regular patches won't do — only the ones that spell S-u-p-r-e-m-e are worthy. Because, trend. You get it.
In evaluating the sartorial choices I've made in the recent past, here are the 5 trends I predict we'll collectively regret to have fawned over, and won't be calling for an encore in the new year. Sorry, guys.
1. Off-White c/o Virgil Abloh industrial belt/Binder Clip bag
The most tired accessory of the year goes to that yellow belt and bag strap we've seen invading every fashion capital in the world. A time-out was due on this once-cool accessory the moment hypebeasts began strapping that bit of nylon around their neck. This means you might want to consider cancelling your pre-order.
2. Fanny packs (aka bum bags) and belt bags worn as crossbodies
Hey, we love a good GG Marmont matelassé velvet belt bag as much as the next fashionista, but for goodness' sake, secure it around your waist, not across your chest. We're all for creative styling, but some can't and shouldn't live a moment past the OOTD snap.
3. Off-the-shoulder jackets
For the longest time, the fashion set refused to put their arms through their jacket sleeves. In 2017, we decided that our shoulders were completely allergic to them. In for a hot minute, this look should now be the one left out in the cold — not our upper bodies. You bet that pun is intended.
4. Patches, particularly space-themed ones
NASA called, they want their logo back. Yes, geek is (and probably will always be) chic — that memo has been circulating since 2015. That's the thing about cuteness though — unless it's meaningful, its shelf life can be unforgivingly short. Iron-on? How about iron-off.
5. Corset belts
Impractical fashion will never enjoy longevity. When was the last time you wore that top with a spine of buttons or the lace-up knee high sandals? Our point exactly. Unless you're not fond of breathing, or you're really into self-induced muffin tops, we're sinking that oppressive cinch, stat.