@MusingMutley: 11 Days Till Christmas — Gifts for the Basic Bitch

The Buro Christmas Gift Guide

@MusingMutley: 11 Days Till Christmas — Gifts for the Basic Bitch
"Norman, you're such a basic bitch" — Buro 24/7 Singapore editors (as in, all of them)

What does that even mean? 

Top definition in Urban Dictionary: "A bitch with a pH value greater than 7." Ha! This is what happens when you crowd source an answer.

After a heated workplace exchange that went something like this:

"I'm not basic." 
"But you admit that you're a bitch?"
"Takes one to know one..."

I deciphered (through all their hateration) that a 'basic bitch' revolves around these core stereotypes:

(a) Will happily trek to Holland Village just to buy an açai bowl;
(b) Serially 'likes' any Insty with monochrome flat-lays shot with natural light filtering through a nearby window;
(c) Every morning is a good morning;
(d) If it ain't handcrafted by artisans, it ain't worth it; and
(e) Eating pizza is 'committing carbocide'.  

In short, a 'basic bitch' has standards. So the next time someone calls you a 'basic bitch', understand that they just have a serious inferiority complex from your supreme awesomeness, and respond with kindness: "Thank you." 

Continuing with our daily gift guide countdown to Christmas, here are my 11 recommendations for the 'basic bitch' — all available for purchase by clicking on the images below. 

1. The Paper Bunny Classic Black 2016 Planner
Sure, this year was great, but next year? You're gonna crush it. (Also available at the Buro Pop-up store.)

The Paper Bunny classic black 2016 planner

2. Byredo Blanche Eau de Parfum
The honeyed dew conjured up by nose Ben Gorham to celebrate classic beauty. Made in France, deliciously crisp and pure, and
looks great in a sun-drenched flat lay.

Byredo Blanche EDP

3. Acne Studios Elmas Cardholder
Give the gift of Scandi cool as expertly told by founder Jonny Johansson — clean lines, robust construction, respected provenance. 

Acne Studio Elmas navy cardholder

4. Garrett Leight Wilson Frames
Take a page out of Mira Duma's book and rock the geek chic look. Intelligence, after all, is super sexy. Throw in an acoustic guitar and you'll have them publicly salivating. 

Garrett Leight Wilson glasses
5. Hermès Jules Calfskin Loafer
Do we really need to justify having Hermès on your feet? This is the crown jewel of French leather craftsmanship, people. And check out that palladium plated Kelly buckle. Case closed.

Hermès Jules calfskin loafer

6. Diptyque Freesia Candle
Imagine this: Night in streaming MR. ROBOT on the laptop, glass of red in hand, and all rugged up in a Pendleton blanket. What's missing? Diptyque candle. Jackpot.


7. 14,000 Things To Be Happy About By Barbara Ann Kipfer
Turn that frown upside down with this book of daily affirmations. It may be a big, big world, but you're a big, big girl, so it's not a big, big thing if he leaves you. Also, this tome will look swell next to your 'You're A Success!' poster.  

14,000 Things To Be Happy About By Barbara Ann Kipfer

8. Aēsop Andromeda Body Gift Set
Hailing from Melbourne (aka hipster capital of the Southern Hemisphere), Aēsop is great for making hands smell like a million bucks. Because, let's face it, who really needs moisturisation in our neck of the woods.

Aesop Andromeda body set

9. Coco Loco 6-pack coconut water
As any beauty editor will tell you, the real secret to great skin is hydration. Sure, there's water from the tap — even S.Pellegrino if you're fancy — but coconut water is a natural electrolyte. (It sounds science-y so it must be good for you.) And, bottled from fresh Thai coconuts and shipped to your door for convenience.  
Coco Loco Coconut Water
10. Chaos and the Calm by James Bay
I mean, c'mon. Have you heard Hold Back The River and Let It Go? Also nominated for three Grammys. Basic bitches love industry-backed credibility. Like buying a book because it won a Pullitzer or Man Booker Prize. Am I right or am I right?

Chaos and the Calm by James Bay
11. The Mindful Company Reminder Band in matte silver
Made from surgical stainless steel (allergies be gone), stacks like a dream, available in 18ct plated rose or yellow gold, and also comes with other sayings: Gratitude, Explore, Be Present and Joy (a Buro pop-up offline exclusive) to name but a few. Daily armour against the haters.

The Mindful Company 'Live in the Moment' reminder band in matte silver

To read all the other Buro Christmas Gift Guides, click here.
To read yesterday's 12 Days Till Christmas — Gifts for the Jetsetter, click here.
Check back tomorrow for 10 Days Till Christmas — Gifts for the Martha Stewart.

And check back every Monday for another @MusingMutley column from Norman Tan, Editor-in-Chief of Buro 24/7 Singapore. For more columns from @MusingMutley, click here.

Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat: @MusingMutley

Instagram: @buro247singapore
Twitter: @buro247sg


Download more