How to turn up as a better version of yourself this party season
Sartorially, that is
What's worse than enduring a pair of stilettos pinching your feet while you toast to the new year at the hottest rooftop bar in your locale? Accidentally flashing a brigade of merrymakers as your skirt lifts with breeze, that's what. So as to not, quite literally, begin 2018 with regrets and cussing at the wind, we invite you to throw out any pre-conceived notions about appropriate partywear.
If skin-tight lustre is your jam, have at it. And likewise, if plaid shirts and dad caps are up your alley, we don't see why not. Like desperation, discomfort is apparant from about a mile away. So courtesy of the cruise 2018 season, here's inspiration for you to do you — but better — this party season. The only dress code to adhere to is yours, truly.
THE DIE-HARD CLASSICIST
With a soft spot for all things shiny and sparkly, fashionphiles might classify your ensemble as a #basicbitchmove, but there's virtually nothing wrong with the tried-and-tested — especially when injected with unexpected elements.
Pro tip: Baby steps. Push your envelope by incorporating sports socks to flip the go-to heels and frock on its head, or a muscle tee and trousers — in place of a skin-tone slip — under your carousel of embellished, sheer dresses.
THE INEXPLICABLY COOL CAT
You love looking "edgy", but loathe the adjective. Synonyms: Leather, denim, and anything in the vicinity of gritty.
Pro tip: It's all about re-working the way you wear your pieces. Extend the mileage of your favourite skin-tight leather trousers by layering denim cut-offs over. Hike your studded crossbody high on the torso by shortening or double-looping its chain — mirroring the fanny pack trend without actually succumbing. Lovers of plaid, level up by combining two shirts in contrasting hues by buttoning the separate plackets together. The less perfect it looks, the better.
THE BOYS HAVE IT BETTER
While you don't think they actually do — have it better, that is — their wardrobe stokes serious envy in you.
Pro tip: Flout all menswear inclinations to truly make it your own. For instance, a crop top does well to match a suit's fabric with skin — or micro shorts, peeking out from under a hefty blazer. If you're going military in Michael Jackson spirit, switch up those infamous stovepipes for a high-waisted wide-leg.
THE QUIRKY VINTAGE MAVEN
Anything that looks too current (or trendy) gives you a mild rash. Your pieces might not always actually be vintage as deep down, you harbour an impartiality to newer garments as long as they hint at a storied provenance visually.
Pro tip: Ditch black stockings or fishnets for the coloured variety; a daring move with exponential payoff if it's the right hue. Lopping one dress over another creates the effect of punchy, clashing prints and the illusion of uneven hemlines — by far more interesting than committing to a singular tea dress and calling it a day.
THE ONE WHO CAN'T BE BOTHERED
You're practically the muse behind the you-woke-up-like-this movement, but you'll never ever deign to hashtag it on social media. It's all about the elusive boudoir attitude.
Pro tip: Looking undone is just a hair's breadth from coming off as downright sloppy. Pick comfortable pieces (in knit or silk) but scale up by making sure they're well embellished. If a slinky slip all you can muster, then go full on insouciant by stepping on the back of your loafers or sneakers to turn them into makeshift mules. Lastly, a feathered dress that looks like a onesie is as far as we'd say you can push it. Warning: Wear with irony.