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In 2019, this gold laurel wreath from Gucci may signify athletic/academic accomplishment less than it does the inescapability of student debt (jks).
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Gucci's Hercules/Herakles earrings — complete with Nemean lion hood — will test your earlobes; best hope they possess demigod-like tensile strength.
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If you need Gucci's guitar case for the contents of your bags, we'd hate to be bearers of bad news, but ya got a problem.
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Moschino's coffin purse is deliciously dark and on point. After all, it's where old receipts and free sweets from waiting rooms and bank tellers go to die.
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Pick your Moschino adventure: get carried away by a giant primate, get showered in blood at your prom queen coronation, or... Shove your head through a candy box? *shrugs*
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You know a show's weird AF when a pizza box purse is the tamest offering. We tip our caps to you, Jeremy Scott.
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Take a Prada paillette scarf...
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Add a logoed stick hair clip...
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Top off with a retro-tastic bowling bag, and voilà! You're the kooky art teacher of every kid's dreams. Miss Frizzle would approve.
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Chanel's latest master stroke inverts the diamond quilted pattern, making the grid lines the raised portion. Simple yet effective.
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For some reason, we can't help thinking of possums, anteaters, and wolf spiders who carry multiple offspring on their backs. Virginie Viard: naturalist?
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We're sensing a pattern here, Chanel.
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Giorgio Armani's vintage-style celluloid palm tree has us craving cocktails.
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Giorgio Armani's chic toques beg the question: whatever happened to mandatory millinery?
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Whatever's going on with the surface detail on this Giorgio Armani purse, we just want to touch it.
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Dior's openwork cannage tote is a nice nod to a house signature.
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A giraffe ring from Dior spurs us to unleash our inner beast. That is to say, to eat like there's no tomorrow whenever food is available. Mother Nature knows best!
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Cream, diamond-weave raffia gives the Lady Dior rustic appeal.
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Louis Vuitton's 'TV bag' recently made the news, which you can now presumably watch on its screens.
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Jewelled elbow gloves? This Vuitton-clad lady attends the opera, and rides her Harley Davidson there.
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The Chrysler Building will never cease to delight, as evidenced by this kitschy Louis Vuitton number.
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Max Mara's croc belts run long this season. Just don't trip on yours.
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Max Mara's new pochettes bear ornate, '80s-esque letter clasps.
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Hammered gold jewellery parallel the antiquities collections of Max Mara's chosen venue, Berlin's Neues Museum.
The most OTT runway accessories from cruise/resort 2020: Gucci's guitar case, Moschino's coffin purse, and more
Finishing touches
Coco Chanel famously advised removing the last item one put on before leaving the house, to avoid overcooking one's outfit; such is the power of a accessory to tip the scales from "hmmm, interesting" to "my eyes can't tell where to look first, please direct me". We've rounded up the most potent of them all from the recent cruise/resort 2020 runway shows for your vicarious viewing pleasure, above.
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