Your whole life has been a lie: NASA announces new Zodiac sign dates
British comedian Jimmy Carr once cockily declared, "There's a name for people that believe in horoscopes, they're called 'single women*'". Hilariously insulting, yes, but still hilarious. For those who proudly park themselves under the camp of believers, you've probably seen articles floating around the web about NASA's announcement that the sky today is different to how it was some 3,000 years ago, when the Babylonians first invented Zodiac signs.
"When the Babylonians first invented the 12 signs of Zodiac, a birthday between about July 23 and August 22 meant being born under the constellation Leo," said NASA in a post. "Now, 3,000 years later, the sky has shifted because Earth's axis (North Pole) doesn't point in quite the same direction." Not only that, a 13th zodiac sign, Ophiuchus, has been added.
Basically, it means your entire life has been a lie thus far. Hold your breath and read on to see what sign you fall under this new change and be prepared to recognise parts of yourself you didn't know were there. Here's to the same old brand new you. *Disclaimer: This story was written by a single woman. Up yours, Jimmy Carr.
If you're now an Aries...
April 18 – May 13
If you used to be a Taurus, an Aries will share these similar traits: Determination, courageousness and stubbornness. The downside to an Aries? These hot heads (they're the first of the fire signs) can be pretty aggressive, short-tempered and self-centered.
If you're now a Taurus...
May 13 – June 21
You're now the good guy and less of a flighty Gemini. You're reliable, patient, practical, and don't have time for airs. You also pretty much hate change. While you used to enjoy the easygoing and flirty facets of relationships, you're now the possessive type.
If you're now a Gemini...
June 21 – July 20
Be prepared to switch sides every other hour — the moodiness of your former Cancer self now presents itself in the split personality of the Gemini. You're not as down-to-Earth as you thought you were, either. To make up for it, you're now the social butterfly you've always aspired to be.
If you're now a Cancer...
July 20 – Aug 10
That need to be praised as a Leo has now shifted to a need to be loved and cared for as a Cancer. You still keep your fiery passion — it just manifests into the home and heart now. Bad news: You'll still get bouts of insecurity here and there.
If you're now a Leo...
Aug 10 – Sept 16
You've traded the quiet, contemplative nature of the Virgo to the loud and proud Leo. You've also pretty much lost your sensible, practical self and will now be arrogant, stubborn and self-centered. Well, at least you're well-liked and popular.
If you're now a Virgo...
Sept 16 – Oct 30
You're loyal, hardworking and retain Libra's easygoing nature. People are going to be depending on your perfectionist ways now, which is why it's pretty useful once your need to organise kicks in.
If you're now a Libra...
Oct 30 – Nov 23
You're going to hate confrontation — but hey, at least things aren't as intense as when you were a Scorpio. The Libra's a happy-go-lucky, people-pleaser, which are traits your former self can't quite comprehend.
If you're now a Scorpio...
Nov 23 – Nov 29
Be prepared to swim in very, very deep waters. A Scorpio is fiercely passionate, possessive and can be self-destructive — but they're also one of the most loyal friends in the Zodiac, and is easier to pin down than the Sagittarius.
If you're now a Sagittarius...
Dec 17 – Jan 20
You'll discover a thirst for adventure your Capricorn past was too scared to tread upon. You might want to keep that impatience in check — Saggis are known to flare up when things don't go their way.
If you're now a Capricorn...
Jan 20 - Feb 16
You're pretty much the trusty father of the Zodiac, so there's no time for those wildly unconventional Aquarius ideas. A Capricorn is disciplined and career-minded to a fault — nothing gets in their way of success.
If you're now an Aquarius...
Feb 16 – March 11
You'll sneer at the sheer intensity of your former Pisces' emotions. While the Aquarius is equally sensitive, they don't see a need to show it — internalising their emotions instead. They're also friends with everyone, scoring social points everywhere they go.
If you're now a Pisces...
March 11 – April 18
Get ready to ride that emotional rollercoaster, and dream big. Once the leader of the pack, your Aries self will want to take the back seat and let others lead. The upside is that you're now fully able to explore that artistic side of yours with great intuition.
If you're the newbie, Ophiuchus...
Nov 29 – Dec 17
You seek a higher wisdom, interpreting dreams and reaching for the stars. You also have a genius mentality. Basically, after being ignored for centuries, you one-up the other 12 signs — it's about time.
For more information on NASA's Zodiac change, click here.