Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker review: All your questions about the plot answered through GIFs — spoilers included
May the force be with you
If you're reading this article, you're probably wondering whether the movie lives up to all the hype. Let's face it, you're going to watch it regardless of how lacklustre the reviews happen to be.
That might be down to the fact that this is the climax to the four-decade-long, multi-billion dollar Star Wars saga. We're not going to bore you with an entire recap of what has gone down, because, truth be told, there have been plenty of twists and turns with this being the ninth film in a multitude of trilogies.
Buro.'s beauty writer Emily Heng and designer Melia Andriani got dolled up and sat through all 141 minutes of titillating cinematic magic and here's how they felt after the experience — melodramatic GIFs and spoilers included.
How excited were you to watch the film?
Emily: On a scale of 1 to 10, it was a solid 18?!
Melia: I wasn't that excited, really. The last two movies were kind of a letdown.
Did you dress up or bring props?
Emily: I did the Princess Leia space buns.
Melia: I wore my trusty Star Wars T-shirt! I spotted two people wearing the exact same T-shirt.
What snacks did you get?
Emily: Salted popcorn bucket that was large enough to fit a whole child.
What was the vibe like in the cinema?
Emily: You had people coming in with lightsabers and using them as torches to light their way to their seats, so the one word that I can muster is "extra." People also clapped the second the Star Wars theme song came on.
Melia: It was quite cray-zy. I could hear people shouting and clapping as the Star Wars logo appeared.
Did the film start with a bang or was it slow paced?
Emily: I think it was intended to start off with a bang when it was revealed that Palpatine was the one pulling the strings all this while. Unfortunately, I was distracted by Kylo Ren's man-baby tantrum and how cheesy and outdated Palpatine looked despite Star Wars' great CGI budget. They could do a full yeti monster, but they can't make the main villain look the slightest bit terrifying? The logic is non-existent.
Melia: To be honest, it was too much for me to process at the start.
Did Oscar Isaac take his shirt off?
Emily: Bold of you to assume I'd be a functioning human being after seeing Oscar Isaac shirtless. Unfortunately, he did not. *cue sad violin music*
Melia: I prayed for it, but he didn’t. He is still hot though.
Did anyone die?
Emily: My dreams, whiny man-baby Kylo Ren, General Hux, good writing, good taste, Rose Tico isn't dead, but with the amount of lines they gave her made it feel like she did.
Who won the epic showdown: Rey or Kylo Ren?
Emily: None of the above. The real losers are the fans, who came in thinking this would be an epic conclusion to a great series.
Were there any interesting cameos?
Emily: Harrison Ford returned, sporting a shaggier haircut and infinitely more charisma than Adam Driver. Mark Hamil raised a ship out of the water in a scene that was weirdly reminiscent of Moses parting the Red Sea. There was also a split five-second LGBT moment when a random resistance extra kissed her wife, which Disney has now censored.
How did you feel by the end of the film?