Search

British comedian Jimmy Carr will be delivering his NSFW jokes again this September

British comedian Jimmy Carr will be delivering his NSFW jokes again this September

#ManCrushMonday

Text: Rachel Chan

Back in Singapore after two years, we celebrate five of Jimmy Carr's nastiest jokes

1. When his mother became the butt of the joke instead
"I hate those emails where they try to send you penis enhancers. I got 10 just the other day — eight of them from my girlfriend. It's the two from my mum that really hurt."

2. Don't try this at home
"My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying, 'Can I have a new bike?' He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike."

3. One of the classic "yo mama" jokes
"If a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. Whereas, if a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum."

4. When he ran out of inspiration for a joke
"I tried to write the shortest joke possible, so I wrote a two-word joke which was 'Dwarf shortage'. It's just so I could pack more jokes into the show. If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up."

5. Jaime and Cersei Lannister, anyone?
"If you tell a girl you like her but she says, "I love you more like a brother", suggest a weekend in Norfolk. Unless you're from Norfolk, in which case it probably is your sister."

Catch Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate, Gold, Greatest Hits World Tour on 13 September, 7pm at the Kallang Theatre.
For last week's #ManCrushMonday, click here.

Related articles

Buro 24/7 Selection

Leave a comment

More