Dating and finding love in Singapore: An eye-opening tarot card reading with Mamta
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"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." — Albert Einstein.
Yes, yes my friends, I really did just start this week's column with a quote. Congratulations, four columns in and I've officially become basic. No, that's not true. My quote isn't by R.M. Drake. There's hope for me yet.
As we enter the realm of CB Week 39,495 (obviously not dramatic), I realised that there's nothing like pandemic-enforced isolation that will make you sit down and reflect on your past, present, and future when it comes to love. Seeing as the past has already happened, the present is me stuck indoors with only my fridge to love, I cast my eyes this week to the future. If anyone knows me by now, the fantasy of what great love awaits me is basically what gets me up in the morning. But whilst it's amazing to have vivid dreams about 'The One', I'm no fortune teller, and if my past is any sign of what's coming, I better hope I'm not relying solely on my radar to pick my next lover.
So, what better way to spend quarantine than to enlist the help of a love professional with the ability to cast into the future? That's right my friends, this week, we went to Tarot Land.
Before you start frantically searching for how to exit this article, mumbling about how you knew I was too weird to be a normal human being and probably have a voodoo doll of Ryan Gosling hidden somewhere, hear me out. Yes, many have disputed the science behind tarot and when we think of a reader, we imagine some mumbo jumbo psychedelic person with a turban charging us $1.50 per minute to read our horror-scope. But far fetched are these ideals when you discover modern tarot reading. There's no turbans, no weird lady with the witch-hair chanting rhymes at you, and there's certainly no crystal balls. What there is, is an experienced professional with over 20 years of experience, sitting across you on a video call, card deck in hand.
Enter Mamta. With over 1,000 likes on her Facebook page (no easy feat for a woman whose profession is questioned daily), Tarot Mamta as she's known, is the definition of a no-bullshit operator who will read it like it is. A staple amongst influencers and celebrities, Mamta is Singapore-known for harnessing the energy of her clients and providing insights via tarot that'll leave you quaking. No, she isn't going to tell you you'll be winning a million dollars in a lottery or meeting a tall dark stranger any time soon. But she sure can see into the soul and make you wonder how. It's like therapy, only cheaper. At any other time in the universe, you'd visit Mamta at her quiet home in Geylang, straight into a serene room, complete with a poolside window, the view lush with greenery and a scene of calm. But a la COVID, you still see a lot of greenery when you visit Mamta, it's just on your app icon via Whatsapp.
So last week, I got in touch via this exact icon, when Tarot Mamta very kindly offered to give me a reading for my column. And boy, did she read me.
My Tarot-ffic Reading Experience
"What's your first question, dear? Be as specific as you can, please." Mamta asked, in a tone of voice somewhere between a loving mother and a CEO.
She'd already gathered my essential biodata (name, age, birthday, etc) akin to an Indian mother checking vitals on www.indianarrangedmarriages.com.
"I, I would like to know what's happening in my love life. Why am I always single?" I uttered the words cringingly. This was a question I'd often asked aloud. The only difference was, it wasn't Saturday night on the couch and I couldn't say it into rim of a large glass of wine.
Silence. My guts churned on the inside. Oh my god, I'd broken the Tarot Card Reader. Even she was like, girl there ain't no hope.
After a long pause, she answered: "Work! I see A LOT of work in your life. Everything is about work."
My stomach relaxed. Oh that old tale. This was basically a conversation with my parents.
"Oh that. Yes, I work a lot. Although I've been really trying to balance lately." I repeated my standard answer. Who are you kidding Rahat, you can't lie to the Universe. Baby G knows.
"Yes, but my dear, how can you find love when you're not ready to receive it and you're not present?"
Damn Mamta, you be asking some difficult questions.
She continued, "Even if you're going on dates or meeting men, you're not present. Somewhere at the back of your mind, even if it's subconscious, you're prioritizing your career. Do you do this because you feel like it's the only area of your life you have control over?"
My heart skipped a beat. Was she inside my soul? How did she know this?
"Errrr. No, I mean, I meet men! I've been online! I TRY, I just can't seem to meet anyone who I get along with. Nowadays I don't even feel like I'm getting any matches!" I spluttered out the words, trying to bind them together as if to emulsify their strength.
"Yes, but do you even really believe you'll find love? Do you truly believe it'll happen for you?"
I paused deeply for a moment and reflected. It was an uncomfortable truth I'd been running from and burying for a long time and she'd struck the nail on the head. Could it be, me, Rahat — most hopeless of all hopeless romantics in the entire world, waiting for Empire State Building rooftop love, purveyor of ridiculously inconvenient-can't-live-without-you-love — Kapur was actually guilty of no longer believing in love, for myself? Nah. Nah?
"I believe in it, I just haven't found it for a very long time so I don't know if it's coming?" I half-asked, half-stated.
Another long pause.
"Do you want a rich man? I feel like financial security is very important to you?" Mamta asked.
What I wanted to say was, girl, who didn't? Fifty Shades only works if he's a billionaire. And the way my love life has been going, I know I'm going to end up with a weird kink person. I can feel it in my bones. He might as well have money for my Louboutins if I'm going to have to handle at least 30 of his shades. Instead, I told Mamta I wanted someone financially secure and well-established in his own career.
As the session continued, I felt totally exposed. For some reason, this time felt different. I'd done several tarot card readings before in my life and being a bit of a spiritual person, I often revert to tarots when I'm in one of my 'can the universe send me a sign' moods. But this time, there wasn't any sign. This was the Universe slapping me across the face.
"You have issues with being vulnerable and letting your guard down. Are men intimidated by you or your success?" Mamta paused, her voice soothing and gentle. She was almost hypnotic in tone, making it impossible not to feel comfortable sharing your inner most feelings with her.
I don't know? Are they? Hadn't we always grown up being told that if a man really loves you, he'll support you no matter what? Isn't that what Kanye has done for Kim? Or is that because he's rich too? And she puts up with his weird homeless looking clothes priced for $2,000? Don't they sell the same exact sweatshirts at Walmart for $10? Why is this so hard?
"I don't know if they're intimidated, but maybe I do talk about work too much?" I guessed.
Mamta spoke softly, "Yes. You need to let go of your career as the only marker of your success and believe it'll happen for you. You can't attract or find it if you don't believe it's coming. You need to change your belief system and open your heart."
Her words sat with me for hours. The thing is, when I reflected later, I knew the truth was somewhere in between. Yes, I work too hard. Yes, I have a problem letting my guard down and yes, I've struggled with men in the past who have had a hard time handling my goals and personality. A former flame I met in the workplace once said to me, it would be too weird if I got promoted prior to him and we should consider ending the relationship if this occurs. That and that women should always be the primary caregiver to children. I know, I have excellent taste. In his defense, he has since undergone a spiritual lobotomy and realised he was a moron. So, I guess there really is justice. But the point being, just because I take pride in my career and have a larger than life personality, does this mean I need to compromise and dim my light to meet the man of my dreams? I don't know.
Somewhere deep down, I knew the tarot cards were right, even if I was skeptical. For me, love has always been about the fantasy of finding a Prince Charming who can just waltz into my life and plug every hole in my heart and turn me into the beautiful fairy Princess I've always wanted to be (no mermaids here, thanks, I'd like to keep my feet for the high heels). But I never once realised that perhaps in the fantasy, somewhere along the way, I forgot the reality of having to make room not just in the palace, but in my heart for said Prince. You'd never think when you're the ultimate romantic, that you might be doing the very thing that doesn't attract true love and that's keeping your guard up to protect your fantasy in case it never comes true.
I've always been a confident girl, jovial, humorous and up for anything. I've always thought going on endless dates and putting up with men who can't meet my knee cap length, much less my standards, and sitting through painful conversations that are boring, degrading and/or flat-out wastes of time would eventually bring me amazing love karma. I always saw it as sort of doing the time before you win the prize. But what if, this whole time, I've been choosing this path, because I've been afraid all along to just put myself out there to find the real thing in case I get disappointed? Somewhere along the way to making it to be a boss woman, I think I forgot it's ok to not be that way in every aspect of my life.
So, I guess don't know what the cards hold, but I do believe in what they tried to tell me. Sadly, I did ask Mamta if she could give me a love spell, but she told me it wouldn't work until I figured myself out, so there goes the easy way. Bummer.
Do I think the tarot cards are going to change my life forever and have predicted my future? No. But do I think they’ve taught me a valuable lesson? Beyond yes. So I’m going to try not to social distance my heart as much from my career. I'm going to try not to quarantine my fantasies from my realities and I'm going to try and break the circuit of belief that I can't control my love as well as I can control my LinkedIn. Who knows, maybe the Universe can forgive my human stupidity to lead me to my infinity (love).
To have a tarot reading for yourself, contact Mamta on 9749 9287.
Cheers till next week!