Weird beauty trends people got on in 2018. Warning: Attempt at your own risk
Humans have done marvellous things in the name of beauty in our short time on Earth. We've seen doctors give out facelifts like sugarless mints in South Korea, sci-fi LED masks reminiscent of Jason Voorhees take over North America, and more recently, morally questionable penis facials endorsed by Hollywood. Imagination — bolstered by determination to freeze time — of man has produced some pretty nifty results.
As with everything else, with the good comes the gory. From face creams infused with animal droppings, to treatments that require women to squat over a steamer, here are some of the weirdest beauty treatments (with varying degrees of credibility) people fell for recently.
This should not be confused by the Vampire Facial that deserves an article on its own. If the sound of either leaves you feeling light headed, then come sit by us. Why waste blood by letting it course through your veins when you can have it in a moisturiser for your face? Crafted by the incredible Dr Barbara Sturm, the cream counts Hailey Baldwin as a fan who shells out a jaw dropping USD$1,000 for each tub.
Bird Poop Facials
For those of you who go into a screaming fit when your shoes land on doggy faeces on the sidewalk, this one is not for you. Known as nightingale facials (the sh*t is collected from said species), the facial comprises sanitised and dehydrated bird dropping powder (organic, duh), mixed into a paste. Beloved by Victoria Beckham, the concoction is high in urea and guanine, which allegedly brightens dull complexion and locks moisture within skin barriers.
Red Wine Soak
Did your aroma-ignorant Secret Santa present you with a Bordeaux from a lousy year at the office party? Instead of regifting a poorly selected wine, pour it into a tub, then jump in. The task sounds simple enough a lazy Friday night, according to actress Teri Hatcher who takes frequent dips: add a few cups of red wine to your bath and well, relax. Dr Shereene Idriss of Wexler Dermatology told Marie Claire that resveratrol (the ingredient in red wine linked to increased cardiovascular health) also improves elasticity and vascular circulation of the skin. Score!
First sold on Goop, quartz and jade eggs were claimed by Gwyneth Paltrow's lifestyle and wellness company to improve the health of your uterus — specifically, reconfigure hormone levels and aid bladder control. In September, Goop was embroiled in a lawsuit. The charge: falsifying information. Aside from retracting all made-up scientific claims of jade eggs' health benefits, Goop was also slapped with a fine of US$145,000. Those little things are still available for purchase, so indulge if you've money to burn, but do it knowing that it does zilch for your reproductive system.
Oh Goop, how you keep dropping nuggets of gold for beauty editors. The vagina steam treatment from Tikkun Holistic Spa cleanses the uterus... or so says Goop. "It is an energetic release — not just a steam douche — that balances female hormone levels," spouted Paltrow. As expected, medical professionals left and right condemned the practice and shared health concerns over the opening of our legs over a mugwort steam, i.e. vaginal infections and intravaginal burns. Delightful.
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