Fragrances that smell like sex even if you’re not getting any this Valentine’s Day
Eau de arousal
While fervent romantics choose to believe that the act of copulation smells like roses, sunshine, and vestiges of optimism (we're not bitter, we swear), us realists are more than aware of its — well, for the lack of a better word — stank.
That's not to say that we don't relish in it, of course. As the coupled up and Tinder-savvy can attest, sex stench is a heady aroma most of us are willing to bask in. And for us singletons, it is a distant memory left behind from a time when Katherine Heigl movies were the go-to for love benders.
If reading this only sends you further into despair, dear reader — don't. Riding solo (ahem) this Valentine's day doesn't have to stink. Pun intended. Below, an assortment of fragrances reminiscent of getting it on in an ideal world, where orgasms is a guaranteed for all and privates smell of potpourri. You're welcome.
Pre-coital: Victoria's Secret Love Star, $129
Much like how a good warm-up is indispensable to any gym rat's routine, so is foreplay to a sex pundit. This is how we like it: light, flirty, and tantalizing enough to get everybody (every body?) raring to go. You'll find the perfume embodiment of it in Victoria's Secret Love Star — a fruity, floral fragrance with subtle musky undertones that hints at what's to come.
Coital: YSL Beauté Black Opium Eau De Parfum Gold Attraction Edition, $179
It earned descriptive comparisons from Thai food (see: so-bad-its-good black comedy Jennifer's Body) to sweat-soiled undergarments (ugh), proof that associating an exact fragrance to The Deed Is more challenging than expected. The general consensus? It should be deep and musky with just a hint of animalism. Enter the YSL Beauté Black Opium Eau De Parfum, which contains an addictive bouquet of black coffee, vanilla, and white florals. According to Alix Tunell, senior beauty editor of Refinery29, "it is a get-you-laid scent with a touch of strip club."
Post-Coital: Diptyque Philosykos Eau de Parfum, $144
There is nothing that gifts luminosity to skin quite like a post-coital glow. Translated to scent, it is a fresh, clean one that brings to mind newly changed sheets and soap on skin. Diptyque's Philosykos Eau de Parfum strikes that perfect balance with its potent blend of fig leaves and cedar, scenting the air with a garden-fresh, woody fragrance that leaves one hopeful for a repeat performance.