@MusingMutley: 11 Days Till Christmas — Gifts for the Basic Bitch
The Buro Christmas Gift Guide
What does that even mean?
Top definition in Urban Dictionary: "A bitch with a pH value greater than 7." Ha! This is what happens when you crowd source an answer.
After a heated workplace exchange that went something like this:
"I'm not basic."
"But you admit that you're a bitch?"
"Takes one to know one..."
I deciphered (through all their hateration) that a 'basic bitch' revolves around these core stereotypes:
(a) Will happily trek to Holland Village just to buy an açai bowl;
(b) Serially 'likes' any Insty with monochrome flat-lays shot with natural light filtering through a nearby window;
(c) Every morning is a good morning;
(d) If it ain't handcrafted by artisans, it ain't worth it; and
(e) Eating pizza is 'committing carbocide'.
In short, a 'basic bitch' has standards. So the next time someone calls you a 'basic bitch', understand that they just have a serious inferiority complex from your supreme awesomeness, and respond with kindness: "Thank you."
Continuing with our daily gift guide countdown to Christmas, here are my 11 recommendations for the 'basic bitch' — all available for purchase by clicking on the images below.
3. Acne Studios Elmas Cardholder
Give the gift of Scandi cool as expertly told by founder Jonny Johansson — clean lines, robust construction, respected provenance.
4. Garrett Leight Wilson Frames
Take a page out of Mira Duma's book and rock the geek chic look. Intelligence, after all, is super sexy. Throw in an acoustic guitar and you'll have them publicly salivating.
5. Hermès Jules Calfskin Loafer
Do we really need to justify having Hermès on your feet? This is the crown jewel of French leather craftsmanship, people. And check out that palladium plated Kelly buckle. Case closed.
7. 14,000 Things To Be Happy About By Barbara Ann Kipfer
Turn that frown upside down with this book of daily affirmations. It may be a big, big world, but you're a big, big girl, so it's not a big, big thing if he leaves you. Also, this tome will look swell next to your 'You're A Success!' poster.
8. Aēsop Andromeda Body Gift Set
Hailing from Melbourne (aka hipster capital of the Southern Hemisphere), Aēsop is great for making hands smell like a million bucks. Because, let's face it, who really needs moisturisation in our neck of the woods.
9. Coco Loco 6-pack coconut water
As any beauty editor will tell you, the real secret to great skin is hydration. Sure, there's water from the tap — even S.Pellegrino if you're fancy — but coconut water is a natural electrolyte. (It sounds science-y so it must be good for you.) And, bottled from fresh Thai coconuts and shipped to your door for convenience.
10. Chaos and the Calm by James Bay
I mean, c'mon. Have you heard Hold Back The River and Let It Go? Also nominated for three Grammys. Basic bitches love industry-backed credibility. Like buying a book because it won a Pullitzer or Man Booker Prize. Am I right or am I right?
11. The Mindful Company Reminder Band in matte silver
Made from surgical stainless steel (allergies be gone), stacks like a dream, available in 18ct plated rose or yellow gold, and also comes with other sayings: Gratitude, Explore, Be Present and Joy (a Buro pop-up offline exclusive) to name but a few. Daily armour against the haters.
To read all the other Buro Christmas Gift Guides, click here.
To read yesterday's 12 Days Till Christmas — Gifts for the Jetsetter, click here.
Check back tomorrow for 10 Days Till Christmas — Gifts for the Martha Stewart.
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