I am no Aunt Agony, and I'm certainly not a relationship coach. I'm not even qualified by any organisation to give advice to another human being. But I, like everyone else, can see that what Selena Gomez is doing with her love life is just the start of a downward spiral and an early check-in into heartbreak hotel. I'm an expert and know Gomez's in and outs because I've actually met her. Sure, we were hundreds of metres apart — she, gyrating her body on stage and I, a mere mortal among thousands of concert-goers at the Singapore Indoor Stadium in April last year. Still, it counts.
In case you've been living under a rock and actually have other pressing issues to care about, you'd have heard through the grapevine that Gomez has been spotted with her former flame, Justin Bieber.
Before I continue, I have to confess that my Spotify account has seen some Bieber action from time to time, but I'm not wild about the guy. Gomez doesn't strike a chord in me too, but with fashionable folks like Coach's Stuart Vevers and Louis Vuitton's Nicolas Ghesquiere force-feeding me her face into campaigns and appearances, the former Disney star's appeal is starting to grow on me. Which is why I sometimes find myself singing along to 'Same Old Love' when it comes on.
Case of the Ex
But hold up. Wasn't it Gomez's same old love she's been spotted biking, brunching, praying and having iced coffees and smoothies with? This past week has seen the duo reunite under the most untimely of circumstances, giving paparazzi and Jelena (that's Justin + Selena) fans a field day. Of course, nobody truly knows what's going on except for her Coach handbag, the silent observer. A month after Bella Hadid and The Weeknd split last November, the model strutted along the catwalk in Victoria's Secret lingerie as he performed 'Starboy' — not that they both had much of a choice, I reckon. Mere days after Gomez's 10-month relationship with the singer ended in October this year, she's spotted hanging out at Bieber's place, and vice versa. Gomez went back to an old flame, just like that. Publicly. Brutally.
While she might argue that her renewed friendship had nothing to do with her breakup with The Weeknd and that their conflicting schedules were the root cause, her recent re-involvement does raise a few eyebrows. Gomez and Bieber haven't been publicly seen together — amicably — since 2014, when they ended their relationship for good. Originally meeting in 2009, the duo began dating in 2010 before launching into a rocky, on-and-off relationship till 2014. True to Friends' Ross and Rachel style, Bieber's been accused of being unfaithful too. Like most musicians, they've given sneak peeks into their relationship through their hits: Gomez's 'Same Old Love', 'It Ain't Me' and 'The Heart Wants What It Wants'; Bieber's 'Friends' and 'What Do You Mean'.
Gomez and Bieber also had that super weird Instagram tiff in August last year, which made me wonder why their publicists or public relations personnel weren't doing their job. Gomez criticised her ex for threatening to quit social media after fans left negative comments about his then-girlfriend, Sofia Richie. Bieber ended up deactivating his account for a good six months. Since his split with Gomez, he's been linked to a bevy of beautiful names in the modeling and entertainment scene: Models Hailey Baldwin and Kendall Jenner and most recently, actress Paula Paulin. After a couple of cryptic social media posts here and there, with nuggets of confessions in various interviews, the duo has relatively laid low in recent months, until now.
Enter Dua Lipa
It's a relationship that has seen more seasons than Grey's Anatomy. "What is she doing?!" exclaimed my colleagues in our daily celebrity dishing sessions. "She should listen to Dua Lipa's 'New Rules'," said another. Yes, Gomez. Like what your fellow millennial pop star has repeated, "Don't let him in / Don't let him in / Don't be his friend / Don't be his friend". According to her song, there are three rules you need to follow to truly move on: 1. Don't pick up the phone, because he's only calling when he's drunk and alone 2. Don't let him in. 3. Don't be his friend, because you might just end up in bed again.
We let it pass when he reached out to you after your kidney transplant. We get it, he's an ex and probably your first (public) love, but those post-op flowers have seen better days. Yes, his romantic and sensitive Pisces nature is just what your Cancerian soul needs after dating an aloof Abel Tesfaye. But there's no need for you to wear his jersey after watching his game. Listen to La Roux's 'Bulletproof', and be just that: Bulletproof. After all, you've been there, done that, and probably even have a t-shirt from his H&M collection. Take a cue from Beyonce's 'Irreplaceable' and cast him to the left, to the left. You two didn't talk anymore for a reason — and if you don't do a much-needed, honest post-mortem look at why your relationship had failed multiple times, then nobody can help you.
Unless, of course, you're killing him with kindness — in which case, we're all for it.