Not many people know this, but I was knighted as a child. That's why my name is Norman Sir Wei Tan. And no, it has nothing to do with a phonetic English spelling of my Chinese name.
Which brings me to the Christmas gift for the person who appears to have everything. If this person was not born into nobility — or like me, blessed with knighthood at such an early age — then he or she clearly does not have everything. No proud heritage to call their own; no signet ring to flaunt their family crest; no minions running around washing their dishes, ironing their newspapers or polishing their shoes; and most importantly, no title.
Luckily for you, there is an online solution to this problem.
Presenting the Lordship or Ladyship Title Pack. By the simple click of the image below, you can buy the person who allegedly has everything what they've always wanted: Respect through utterance of their very own name.
And this is legit. It includes a personalised gold embossed title certificate, legal title deed, title crest, and dedicated five square feet of land near Coniston Water within the Lake District National Park in the UK. Sure, it ain't no Downton Abbey, but that person can now call him or herself a Lord or Lady — but hopefully not as snooty as that Lady Mary.